DO ask for what you want…
physically, emotionally, and spiritually
No, your partner doesn’t know what you want! No matter how much someone loves you, they aren’t mind readers and can only know what you need if you tell them. It’s not easy to express sometimes; but it is very possible to lovingly wrap what we need in a conversation and ask.
DO intentionally connect with your partner every day
Make it a point to find ways to connect with your partner every day. It helps them feel loved, AND it tends to keep communication clear. You know more of where each other stands.
DO have conversations about things that are important to you…
even if they are difficult
Again, this isn’t easy. Wrapped in love and honoring of another, makes these conversations so much easier to have. It’s scary! Most of the time, we have made it a way bigger deal in our minds than it really is. With practice and time, it becomes easier and easier.
DO have Fair Fighting Rules
It is important to know how to engage with your partner in a healthy, honoring way when you are in conflict. What is okay to do? What should they never do again? Do you have a place for time out to cool down or refocus?
DO keep dreaming and working on your own individual goals
As you keep growing and expanding your personal life, your relationship benefits. Keep your dreams alive, and don’t forget to keep dreaming dreams with your partner too.
Follow the Do’s and you are well on your way to a healthy relationship. But don’t forget the Don’ts—
DON’T ignore other important relationships…
like friends and family
Enjoying other relationships in your life adds to your relationship. Your partner doesn’t have to always be the one to entertain you and be there for you 24/7. Others get to share in this opportunity as well. Having outside relationships also helps retain autonomy.
DON’T try to control or change your partner
This has never worked and never will. The only person you can change is you. Watch as you make changes within yourself, how the changes ripple into your other relationships! It’s a better use of your time and energy, and it’s certainly a lot easier on your relationship.
DON’T complain about your partner to others
Your partner is your teammate. Complaining about them to others or being derogatory about them, only makes you look bad. However, it is okay to find the one person who holds your partner in high esteem as you do, so you have someone to confide in when working on problems.
DON’T expect your partner to meet all your needs…
or make all the decisions
No one can meet all our needs! That is why it’s important to have other contributing relationships. Nor is it fair that all the responsibility is on one person. Find ways to make decisions together. In our family, the person with the most knowledge and experience gets to make the final decision. It certainly makes the load easier.
DON’T be negative, possessive or condemning
If you treat your relationship in high regard, believe the best in them, it has a positive effect. It shows you believe in them, trust in them, and want what is best for them.
Marie invites people to play, dance and love more actively in their relationships so they can experience more JOY, PEACE and INTIMACY. Marie is a relationship coach with over 25 years of experience in Boise, Idaho. 