You’ve been in a relationship for over 10 years, things feel stale and unmoving. There might even be a bit of past relationships fears and stirrings coming up. How do you reignite this burn or at least fan the flames? First of all, you’re not alone. We all go through this. And we all have cycles in our relationships where things run smoothly, or one area of our lives needs a little more balance.
We have a few solutions that have worked for us. Below, in the comment section, feel free to add what works for you! We can all benefit from one another.
For us, when we feel disconnected, it is because we have gotten too much into the “working” part of our relationship; which could be our jobs or our children or working on the house. It is all the things we are responsible for and none of the things that keep us connected.
What all relationships need is quality time and nurturing… It’s vital for us to thrive. Here are just a few.
1. LOVE NOTES. This is my number one tip I tell people over and over again, and all my clients swear by it. Never underestimate the power of a small note of appreciation, even the size of a sticky note. I have many testimonials about how leaving subtle messages around the house or the office or our vehicles can melt a heart. Yes, guys like it too! Write it on the bathroom mirror. Find playful places to put them.
2. DRESS UP/SHARE OUR BEST. Sometimes we have been lingering around so much in these days of COVID, we forget to get out of our jammies. Take a shower and put on some perfume, or cologne. Wear a nice shirt, or put on makeup. It tells our partner they are worth dressing up for. The same goes for using our best things, not saving them for “special occasions.” Take out the china, the crystal ware, and champagne glasses! Why? Because it’s a Tuesday…
3. ADVENTURES. Try something new together. It doesn’t have to be big like jumping out of an airplane, though it could be, and the adrenaline gets the heart racing! Check out community education classes in your area; they most always have something like sports, arts, cooking, etc. Even better, peruse possible classes together. If you’re open and willing to try something write it down. If it’s something you’d really like to try, write it and STAR it! The goal is to find things you might like to do together. Earlier this year, I tried ax throwing! At first, I wasn’t excited about it and thought I might not do well. With practice, not only did I do well, but even beat Joe. The goal is to spend time together.
4. POWER OF TOUCH. Little intentional touches, affectionate kisses, and body brushes are great ways to let your partner know of your presence and that you are thinking of them. You could even ask your partner what kind of touch would be best.
5. SENSORY/SENSUAL TIME. This section goes hand in hand with the above statement. Sometimes we are so focused on the sex and getting it done, we are not taking the time to savor the sensual part of it. Find time to slow down, maybe add a massage, a nice shower or bath, play a sensual game. Find time to linger in your partner’s presence. You could be pleasantly surprised.
6. RENEW YOUR PROMISES/VOWS – Sometimes our relationship just needs us to take a look. Maybe we’ve been together a long time, and what was relevant when we got together is not relevant anymore or it has expanded and changed.
We have many resources for you to reengage and connect with your partner from connection tips, Romance Cookbook, coaching services, and more! Please visit us at MariesGold.com
Marie invites people to play, dance and love more actively in their relationships so they can experience more JOY, PEACE and INTIMACY. Marie is a relationship coach with over 25 years of experience in Boise, Idaho. 