Be Willing to Live With Vagueness

Today I wanted to talk to you about some important advice given to me 20 years ago for a language class and how it applies to real life.

You see, we think we have to KNOW all the answers; or understand all that is going on or even want to control the outcome or situation of something happening in our lives.  When in reality, if we sit back and are present, enjoying the moment it’s so much better.  We are neither worrying about the past nor anxious of the future.  There’s fun in the not knowing what’s going.  Really! Sometimes things come out even better than we imagined!

CASE IN POINT:

It was HAPPY THURSDAY!  Do you get it?  Happy Thursday, and so it required a skip in my step because it was a day I always looked forward to – an element of surprise.  It was my adventure to be willing to live with vagueness.

When I got to the door, there was a sign on the the doorr that read:  Enter my Queen.  A rush of adrenaline pumped my veins! I could hardly contain the excitement.  First, a girl mostly always likes the idea of being “Queen for a day.” Second, Joe had consistently been reciprocating SURPRISES with me. One of the few guys who had.

Thoughts of : “I wonder what he’s up to?  Where will we go?” entered my head.

And more thoughts: “I do have to teach tomorrow, and I need to stop by the art store on the way.  I wonder how that will work with the plans?”

As I slowly entered the door, I noticed rose petals trailed to the bedroom.

Now, I KNOW what you might be thinking is my surprise…but wait for it…wait for it.On the bed was a Queen’s costume with a note that asked me to get dressed and wait until he arrived.  Oooooooh!

The dress had glittery gold and lace and it was gorgeous!  Annnnnd.  It fit.  I waited with anticipation when there was a knock on the door, when he opened it up he was handsomely dressed as a king and had a blind fold in his hand.  Yes!  A big surprise awaits!

His sister was at the front door and was dressed as a chauffeur.  Anticipation was building inside me.  I felt I could explode at any moment!  I chose to stay present.  As I entered the “limo,” he blindfolded me.   ooh…yeah…more excitement building.  Out of curiosity, more than a need to know,   I turned on all my senses to try and detect where I was…and then came the familiar railroad track thump and then a road bump, bump.  I think we are at Rosemary’s.

When he took the blindfold off, I was right, we were at Rosemary’s.  He took my hand to cross a small bridge over a Koi pond and into the tea house.  I had created one of our first surprises here, full of very fond memories.  Joe was recreating our date, complete with a specially made dinner, great conversation, and Yanni playing in the background, finishing it off with.a reading of a children’s book, one of my favorites, The Table where the Rich People Sit.

Wow, do I LOVE this man!  How he went to such detail to recreate the whole event.  As we were crossing the bridge, he stopped in the middle and got down on one knee.  Again I was thinking: What’s happening?  Is this what I think it is?  Is he ready?  Am I ready?

He was fumbling around in his tights searching for something because he wasn’t used to wearing such garb.

And then out burst forth a shiny gem full of love and promise.

Fast forward to today:  What if I was trying to control the outcome or wanted to know right now what was going to happen?  What if I stayed stuck in the worry I had a lesson to teach tomorrow and had to figure out a way to get to the art store now?

Some of this story might have lost its charm because I would have either the energy of frantic or worry, instead of being present and in the moment, enjoying what is happening.

So I have been very blessed with the lesson of “Being willing to live with vagueness, and that is only one example.