Did you know there are regular rituals that increase connection in your relationship AND help it thrive? Even better, there are some things you can do consistently and don’t take a lot of time. Joe and I call it nurturing a relationship. Here are some things that work for us in keeping the love bursting alive and flourishing!
1. Regularly date – Since Joe and I got together over 26 years ago, we have consistently gone on dates just about every week. Is it full on preparation for surprises EVERY week? No, not at all. It is just taking time out from the every day chaos to just enjoy each other. We have everything from planned elaborate dates with all the bells and whistles to short “appetizer” dates where we go buy ice cream or watch a romantic comedy. The point is it is just the two of us. AND, we are not taking on the working part of our relationship, like kids and work. I have seen many a relationship use date night to “catch up” on those much needed conversations about things that are going awry in the day to day of things. Then, we lose connection and enjoying the fun part of our relationship!
For dating ideas from quick appetizer ideas to planning a surprise to full on Ooh La la, check out the Romance Cookbook HERE.
2. Check-ins/Coffee chats – Joe and I try to check in with each other daily to see how we are doing. We get to actively and compassionately listen to our partner and what is going on with them. Being attentive to them let’s them know they are heard and they are valued. If there is something concerning or problematic and they ask for help, we can have a discussion and find ways to support each other9 .
This regular check in also gives us a pulse on the relationship. It’s almost like getting our vitals done at the doctor’s office. What’s the temperature of the relationship? Do we need to find some time together? If ever we find ourselves snapping at each other or really having trouble communicating, often it is because we have not been checking in on each other.
3. Eat meals together – Sometimes it is the intentional time of sitting down together without an agenda. Mealtime can just be that little breather you need to say, “I see you. How are you?” It feels like a big inhale, breathing in the goodness of each other.
4. Lingering hugs and kisses – We call it lingering because Joe and I kiss each other hello and goodbye every day. However, when we take a few extra seconds to kiss and hug, we can really feel our partner’s presence and intentions. To me it says, “I really like you.”
5. Appreciation – Joe and I try to take time several times a week to tell each other specifically what we appreciate about each other. Sometimes we write notes; sometimes we just take a moment at the end of the evening to say, “I appreciated when you went to the gym with me today.” Or “Thanks for helping me with the chores.” “I love this…about you.” The underlying message is “I choose you again and again.”
These are just a few of the many things you can do to reestablish a connection and have the FLOURISHING relationship you desire. Stay tuned for more!
Marie invites people to play, dance and love more actively in their relationships so they can experience more JOY, PEACE and INTIMACY. Marie is a relationship coach with over 25 years of experience in Boise, Idaho. 