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We’ve all felt the painful sting of rejection – whether it’s from a job you really wanted, a goal you didn’t reach, or a romantic interest who doesn’t quite feel the same. It’s been a part of your life in one way or another. But, what if I told you that rejection isn’t real? What if I told you that rejection is simply your own perception of what happened in that situation?

When you’re looking at the situation in which you felt rejected, no matter what the circumstance may be, you are inviting your own judgment of yourself and your internal dialogue about your value into the conversation! Deep, right?

Don’t just take my word for it though, test it yourself! Take any situation in which you’ve felt the sting of rejection, a job loss for instance. You might take it personally. So personally, in fact, that you probably ask yourself these kinds of questions: Why did I lose this job? Am I not effective in that role? Am I lacking in skills required for this position? What did I do wrong?

Those kinds of questions produce negative judgment and feelings toward yourself. The thing about rejection that you may not consider is that it is not a shared reality. The other person does not feel the same way about the situation. They’re not looming over those questions and stewing in negative feelings toward you like you are doing to yourself. It is your own perception of your “unworthiness” that is making you feel that way.

What you should be asking yourself instead are questions like: Is there a better opportunity for me somewhere else? Does the Divine have something bigger and better in mind for me? Is this an opportunity to BUST OUT and be the best version of ME? Use introspection to make these feelings of rejection into an opportunity for self-growth. Here are some simple ways to do a little soul-searching the next time you feel rejected:

  • Try a SWOT Analysis of the situation. Look deeply at the STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, OPPORTUNITIES AND THREATS. This will allow you to see things through a fresh lens in a logical and well-thought out way.
  • Explore a different path –  try to see the situation with new eyes and and think of it with a fresh mindset. Try considering the fact that there’s a better way, a bigger/better/more passion-filled job, a goal that’s more inline with who YOU are, or a more fulfilling relationship out there for you.
  • Check your alignment. Try asking yourself – Was that past goal, dream, or relationship in alignment with who I am?
  • Re-evaluate your goals. Try asking yourself – Were my expectations too high? Too low? Not in line with my passion? Was I impatient and just settled? 

By using introspection, you’ll be able to look inside of who YOU are and see what YOU really want. It will motivate you and help you grow. It will inspire you to do better, learn more, dream big, and think outside of the box! 

Rejection isn’t real, don’t sell yourself short. Take those feelings and use them as an opportunity to grow! 

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