Because I have been very happily married for over 25 years, I get asked often, what makes a good marriage? I thought I would ruminate on this to let you know what works for us! And why would you listen to us? Because even after all this time, we still get people who think we are newlyweds because we gush about each other and are so there for each other. Here are some of our top tips on what makes a good marriage.
- Great communication, even about hard things. Along with this goes integrity. If I am not in integrity with myself or my partner, this is a useless tool. Integrity means I will be honest even if I am worried about hurting someone’s feelings. It doesn’t mean I am brutal or unthoughtful, it means it is far better to be up front with less pain, than to hide my feelings, let them fester and blow and do more damage.
- Kindness. I work with about a 100 couples a year, and this is the number one thing they say they love about their partner. Wrapped with kindness is probably grace. Their partner is kind even when they are not themselves or make mistakes. Wayne Dyer talks about how an act of kindness can change everyone involved, the one giving it, the one receiving it, and the one witnessing it.
- Mutual Support. This trait comes as a close second. When a partner is there for us through thick and thin in a non-judgemental way, helping in whatever way they can to help someone through a tough time or to realize a dream. MUTUAL SUPPORT is the creme de la creme. You each get to give support and receive report.
- Nurturing of the Relationship. Often when we get into the working part of the relationship, like kids, work, chores, etc., we put aside nurturing and fostering our most important relationship with our partner! When this relationship is nurtured and we are giving from this overflowing cup, everyone wins! (especially our kids! Don’t we want them to one day grow up and find a nurturing loving partner?)
These are just our top tips on what makes a good marriage. We will keep thinkng on this and creating a longer list and get back to you with more. In the meantime, love on your partner and your families so it can change the world! Love you all, Marie♥ (aka luvrev)